Since the dawn of society people have been getting sick, and it’s always been a bad thing. However, in recent times, people seem to have these secret little “guilty pleasures” associated with getting the latest bug that’s passing around the office. Does the ability to just stand back and take a break from the everyday, outweigh the inherent loathsomeness of getting sick. Has the Twenty-first Century life we all live become to entwined in our lives, that the only possible way to escape is to become ill? And, even then we pump ourselves full of drugs to pretend like were not, as if to pretend that we are “too good” to be stick.

So I have decided to come up with the Top 10 Dirty Secrets About Being Sick:

1. You can always use the excuse “I’m just to sick to…” and it never gets old.
2. You can blow “snot rockets” in the shower as loud and as often as you want.
3. You can do almost nothing the entire day, and still feel very accomplished.
4. Sitting in front of the computer like a zombie is completely acceptable.
5. You can watch bad soaps on TV, and no one can say a thing.
6. You can masturbate as much as you want without feeling guilty. (Hey it releases endorphins and makes you feel better. Isn’t that the whole point about being sick, to feel better? )
7. Pumping your self full of over the counter medication is perfectly reasonable.
8. You don’t have to feel obligated to listen to other peoples problems, as obviously you are in just far too much agony to have to deal anyone but yourself.
9. You can sleep so much that it’s probably unhealthy, and think feels almost better than sex.
10. Lastly, you are readily equipped with the perfect reason not to go to: work, school, your sisters’ house for dinner, or those annoying PTA meetings in which you usually don’t attend in the first place.

So, with all the being true I am surprised that people don’t get sick more often. Stupid modern day sanitation.